Filling Space

Hello,

I have been haunted by the ghost of Jane Tang for the last 10 years of my life. Every empty shop, every gutted retail store ready to get itself back up onto the market again bars the same blue and yellow Barfoot & Thompson sign. Call Jane Tang. 

She must, obviously, be my doppelganger in the Upside Down universe: chained to her desk in some eerie derelict building somewhere in the Central City, forced to eat raw rabbits like the doubles in Us. With the vowels swapped around, the name just off-centre from mine, it’s long been a running gag within my friendship circles. I’ve received many texts from people over the years of For Lease signs, blazened with Jane Tang’s name, captioned with something like “lol” or “your twin” or, “you should interview her.”

I feel like the frequency of these texts have somewhat increased as time ticks on, mainly due to the increase in empty commercial spaces within our city. It’s long been a running theme in our news outlets' doom and gloom stories about Tāmaki Makaurau, mainly because the empty shopfronts have a seismic and psychic effect on the shape and feel of the city. Simply put, it really ruins the vibe. It’s frustrating for everyone involved.

For Lease signs and unoccupied shops were a constant thread in the last night’s Night Mayors event, held by Open, in which four citizens talked about why they are still here. Tonight, Emma Gleason (CRUST) suggested that a levy be imposed on landlords that leave their spaces empty too long. When I did Night Mayors a few weeks ago, I said all empty commercial space should be entered into some sort of database and people should be able to apply to activate them. We’re all thinking about filling space.

Love,
Jean Teng

P.S. Jane Tang CURRENTLY HAS 63 PROPERTIES FOR LEASE and 13 for sale.

RUMOUR MILL: We are hearing folks are getting leases for half the listed prices at the moment, so if you are on the hunt for somewhere in the city, especially one that has been left empty for a while now, it never hurts to ask.

LAST MINUTE HALLOWEEN SUGGESTIONS: For a wholesome time, head down to the bottom of St Kevin Arcade for the ANNUAL HALLOWEEN DOG PARADE, then head along to NYMPHO later that night at Double Whammy. If you’re Cool Girl and wanna be chill, BLUE is pouring wines alongside “spooky” snacks. There’s also an UNDIES PARTY at The Studio which has the chilling description “creatives tucked in every shadow, nook and corner”. Creatives in every corner? Where am I, Goblin on a Friday night? Scroll down to the event listings for a few more ideas.

VIBE CHECK: We went to central city restaurant Hazy Tiger for dinner last night, which is one of those $8, $11, $16 plate places that trick you into thinking you’re going to spend very little but then you end up spending a lot. It’s done a really good job at that, it seems, as on a Tuesday night the place was pumping – nearly every table was full, of after-work office workers, first dates, friends in their early 20s. It honestly shocks me these days when a restaurant in Auckland is busy (sad), but here is one! Food was very much drinking food – passable if alcohol and talking is involved. Not passable if not.

MAEVE ON ANZAC is a new coffee roaster/cafe that’s opened up where eightthirty used to be – with a new big counter to replace the old big counter (this new big counter is more rounded). The logo is a pixellated, cross-stitchy M, a style I’ve been seeing pop up more and more.

There’s a vinyl + coffee pop-up called STACK RECORDS in the tiny slice of space next to the Capitol Cinema entrance on Dominion Rd. It’s very cutesy.

JW Marriot is opening a Japanese omakase restaurant called KURETA which looks to be imminent. 30 seats, two shared tables. Fancy!

Four things I want to eat right now

Papa Viet Eatery, Parnell
I love to find new places to eat pho. It is a magical soup with magical properties. I don’t want to get my hopes up too high, but with a 4.9 Google star rating, surely it has some legs.

SPICED DATE STICKY RICE, TOASTED CURRY LEAF ICE CREAM, SALTY MEDJOOL TOFFEE DESSERT at Forest, Dominion Rd
My love for freaky little desserts (phrase trademarked) knows no bounds, and I want to eat it even more knowing that they’re shut up shop from now till 12 November, so I can not physically go and eat it. Enjoy your break, Plabita and Kate, I guess.

MANGO STICKY RICE AT KIIN
Babe, wake up, it’s R2E2 season and the mango sticky rice has landed back on the menu.

FIRST MATES, LAST LAUGH
I made fun of First Mates, Last Laugh like every other person when it first opened (the name; the obvious clientele it is trying to attract) but, actually, I do want to eat hiramasa kingfish ceviche and half a crayfish outside by the water. An aside, what per oyster price are we finding acceptable these days? I saw one on the menu the other day for $8/piece and was slightly taken aback, it must be said. Do I need to readjust to this new normal?

Goings on in fast food
By Simon

PALACE SCANDAL: The big news this month is that Burger King has gone off script and swapped their shoestring fries for a thicker cut, seemingly about the same as those at KFC but without the chicken salt (thanks to Cringer, Anna for alerting us to this). A concerned REDDIT USER contacted the head office and has ominously confirmed the change is 'permanent and nationwide'. They have also launched a new burger which adds melted cheese sauce to the Whopper base. In their deals section the blessed two creamy mayo cheeseburgers for $6.75 deal is back. Use code B34 when ordering.

WE ARE KFC. WE DO NOT FORGIVE. WE DO NOT FORGET: In the latest shocking example of a marketing department running completely amok, KFC have replaced their overly complicated deals programme with the oddly conceived, Anonymous/V For Vendetta themed Colonel’s Hacks. The promo is going to run through till the start of December and will see occasional short-run drops (which have so far been unremarkable) as well as a regular base set of deals, the best of which looks to be a ten piece bucket for $20.

ARCH: BDS howlers McDonalds are releasing their first new burger in quite some time, and it’s a riff Big Mac with bigger patties and a slightly different, slightly spicier sauce that, according to Google AI Research, is using tomato concentrate instead of sweet relish as a base. If you’re an app user they have deals every day in November.

THE PIZZA WARS: Pizza Hut has extended their sourdough base range into cheaper, smaller versions called Sourdough Flats and Dominos is still on their Taste of India range, pointing to a general slowing in the creative tempo of both chains, both presumably bruised and exhausted after years of open pizza conflict. Elsewhere Sal’s now has a gluten-free base and Hell has the Piggy von Truffle pizza with chorizo and truffle oil three ways. 

ET AL: At Subway they have a very cardboardy looking Cordon Bleu fillet back on the menu. Wendys is STILL pumping the Baconator range and seems to have flat-out given up on life. Burger Fuel has resurrected the beloved Peanut Piston burger and Popeyes have two limited time sandwiches — BBQ bacon and Buffalo Ranch flavours. Carl’s Jnr is offering you the opportunity to put a small handful of crisscut fries into any Big Angus for $1 extra.

What’s on this week
By Simon

FRIDAY 31ST

CHEMISTRY — EMMA MCINTYRE & TIMOTHY WEBBY
Coastal Signs, Free
Very successful painter, Emma McIntyre returns from reaping the rewards of international popularity for a joint show at Coastal Signs with less-successful but still probably good photographer Timothy Webby.

HALLOWPREEN
Open, Free
Put the finishing touches on your costume here from 5pm with free face painting to help pull it all together. Prizes for best costume and spooky drink specials.

GOTH NIGHT HALLOWEEN EDITION
Ding Ding Lounge, $20
There’s a lot of Halloween parties on, but this is the only event specifically catering for the people it’s really for. With General Kala and Stud Finder and DJs Passion Crypt, Gravedigger, The Doctor and Ravebat.

SATURDAY 1ST

TONE FEST 2025
Whammy, $15
12 bands playing from 4pm — all ages till 8pm. With this week’s Cringe Band Name of the Week winners, Steal Wool alongside Hallelujah Picassos, Preacher, Cootie Cuties, Grym Rhymney, New Telepathics and more!

SHISAYAYAMA AND CHILL
East St Hall, $20
South African barbecue party with the braai going from 3pm and Amapiano/Afro House/Three Step/Afro Tech DJs playing till 11.

BASSMENT — LOCAL ROLL CALL 14
Neck of the Woods, $25
19 local DJs playing all sorts of shit with a mental, Thierry Henry themed poster from Sheahan Huri.

SUNDAY 2ND

DEFEND THE THRONE
Due Drop Events Centre, $43
The Royal Family performs their best choreography from the past 14 years. It’s not clear who will be dancing with them but presumably fairly safe to say probably not Parris Goebel who it looks like has just released A SONG with Major Lazer?

KIWI FERNS v AUSTRALIA
KIWIS v TONGA
Eden Park, From $15
If you are wondering what all the cars with red flags are about this weekend, it’s this. With musical guests Josh Tatofi and Savage.

LAWRENCE ARABIA IS PLAYING A SOLO SHOW
Pah Homestead, From $30
Some new songs, some old songs and an unexpected reference to Richard Prebble in the show notes.

TUESDAY 4TH

ALL’S FAIR
Disney+
An all-female firm of divorce attorneys ‘don’t just play the game — they change it’. Stacked cast with Naomi Watts, Teyana Taylor, Niecy Nash, Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close all being led by real life lawyer Kim motherfucking Kardashian. Created and produced by hit factory, Ryan Murphy and should fill the Ally MacBeal/Good Wife sized hole in society’s fabric that has been empty far too long.

WEDNESDAY 5TH

BLACK CAPS v WEST INDIES
Also Thursday, Eden Park, From $27
Showers forecast. Try playing in the ACTUAL SUMMERTIME, New Zealand Cricket. It’ll go way better.

THURSDAY 6TH

TEENAGE ENGINEERING RIDDIM N’TING PRODUCT SHOWCASE
MusicWorks, Free
There’s a lot of techy stuff being made into this world at the moment and only a tiny fraction of a percent of it actually looks interesting so we are listing this trade show from our favourite contemporary industrial designers here so you can go and see WHAT’S POSSIBLE if you are trying.

PREDATOR BADLANDS
In Cinemas
The worst kind of revisionism, this new Predator film seeks to have us empathise with these interplanetary mass-murderers as a young, outcast Predator searches for redemption and acceptance. Shocking stuff from director Dan Trachtenberg who is on his third Predator film and should know better.