Issue No31 — House Party!

Hello,

When you move back to Auckland from London and turn 30, a hooded figure appears with a business card in either hand, and an ultimatum to choose one. It is a fork in the road. One is for a real estate agent, the other a dealer.

When I washed back ashore last year, I wholly believed our city was entirely structured around the former pathway. Or so I thought! In my first irritable six months back, I sent many a blistering voice note to friends back in London about the lack of good bars, the nanny-state drinking laws, and the price of anything that really gets the blood pumping. (Les Mills.) I was convinced this city had zero interest in providing for people like me, brave individuals who’d attend the opening of a paper bag.

But I chipped away at things. Said yes all the time. Became a No. 7 regular, for better and worse. After reworking my way into social circles here, a truth I’d known all along, lost to the fog of memory, returned to me: that Auckland’s superpower is the house party.

I’m not saying anything new here, but let’s look at the evidence. A byproduct of poor urban planning means our central suburbs are home to big houses with massive gardens; in more densely populated cities, no one wants to host forty people when the living room is a bedroom, the ‘garden’ is one square metre, and guests keep getting trapped in the lobby, if they managed to bypass the first buzzer at all. In Tāmaki we’re afforded both the space and the headspace, and people usually respect each other’s houses because none of us can afford the damage, reputational or otherwise.

The wonders are endless. The kitchen is for introductions, the living room for shaking ass, the garden for cigarette epiphanies or situationship makeouts, and the bedrooms, particularly after midnight, are where you might just have the most transcendent, profound conversations of your life, even if you forget everyone’s name and any conclusions by morning. There’s a reason our best bars (Goblin, No. 7) emulate house parties in their intimacy.

This is all to say: more house parties, please, especially as we come down from summer. If your flat is big enough, you get to be a legend for opening your front door and letting people revel in the ephemeral beauty – and ancient ritual – of gathering. They’re perfect for a cost of living crisis, and undeniably symptomatic of a healing city; my strongest evidence of this is that of the last three I’ve been to, only one was a leaving party.

– George

GEORGE FENWICK is a writer, party boy and former bookseller based in Tāmaki Makaurau. He usually writes about film and TV, and you might have seen his mug on the Letterboxd Instagram. In lieu of a personality, he likes to read, watch movies, disassociate at Ponsonby Food Court, and party. 

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Please use the referral link below so we can grow our mailing list! Barely anyone does it so the odds of you winning the $250 Britomart voucher are shockingly high.

By Jean

POP INTO the new Monmouth Glass Studio in Kingsland for some live glassblowing, chit-chat and complimentary pours from local drink purveyors on Friday 17 April from 5 to 9pm. 

The regular Karangahape Rd FAM MARKET is on this Saturday, with some sort of vinyl treasure hunt going on courtesy of Small Rave (the instructions are at the Beresford St Small Rave Kids Corner). Plus there will be food available, of course.

Friends of Cringe, LONG TABLE + SIDE SCOOP, are popping up at Rumours on Sunday 19 April, 9am to sell out. Expect tarts, sweets, sausage rolls and ice cream. 

Another regular pop-up, YUMSO, are selling their sweet treats at Parable House, also on Sunday. Double-header. 

Pasta restaurant Pici have launched a HAPPY HOUR special of sorts, with half-price cacio e pepe ($11) and $10 wines (house red/house white) between 5-6pm everyday. 

MAGGIE BAKERY is opening ANOTHER store! this one on Dominion Rd, between the Vape shops by the Capitol.

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NON-EDIBLES

Crushes are looking for COLLABORATORS – pop-ups, night classes, florists, whatevers – if you need some space to do your thing and it seems Crushes-esque, drop them a line.

RIP to WYNN HAMLYN, one of my favourite local designers, and the latest fatality in a string of recent closures. Their current collection will be their last, so move now if you want to get your hands on something before it closes for good. I’ve always loved their sweaters, like THIS ONE.

Choice items from the liquidation sales of Auckland’s two-speed recovery.

By Simon

TROPHIES AND CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
Current bid $10, Closes tonight
The Ellerslie lawn bowls club has closed, so I’m assuming its patronage has either moved away, lost interest or passed from this mortal coil. It’s a fate awaiting other boomer-beloved pastimes and places that have failed to reach into a new generation, whether that’s other bowling clubs, the horse tracks, the orchestra, the opera, the ballet or super rugby. All of which, btw, have these cabinets full of trophies which would be nice to collect somewhere into a museum of small achievements.

WINE CABINET
Current bid $3,000, Closes Monday
Replacing your fridge with a temperature controlled wine cabinet of the same size sends a clear and exciting message to any potential visitors you might be receiving. RRP is $18,000 so you now is the time to make this bold and correct decision.

DOLCE AND GABBANA TOASTER
Current bid $130, Closes Monday
RRP $1,200 so why not. Both of these are from yet another Kitchen Things liquidation so by this point there are bound to be bargains all over the place. Have a look through. 

CHOPPING BOARD
Current bid $20, Closes today
This is the largest chopping board I have even seen.

ROLAND TR-505
Current bid $30, Closes Friday
It’s a little beat up, but if it’s working ok, this drum machine from the late 80s was a favourite of Aphex Twin, Jam and Lewis and a lot of the Chicago House people.

120 NANGS
Current bid $50, Closes Saturday
A huge amount of nangs. WARNING: You have to pick them up from Kaitaia but at least you won’t be bored on the drive home.

ARNOLD CIRCUS STOOL II
Current bid $50, Closes today
For fans of Jean’s stool-focussed intro from the other week.

By Mike

The announcement of the AUCKLAND CITY DEAL, signed on Friday between Government and Council, makes for insipid reading. Largely a series of commitments to discuss potential future commitments – the mayor and the PM have agreed to meet every 4 months! – it’s nearly weightless in its lack of solid decisions. It offers no new funding in the first 3 years of the ten year agreement, with the possibility of co-funding thereafter should the city find new money through asset sales. And with no attempt at bipartisan coordination, its longevity through three subsequent government terms is suspect.

While the Deal is painfully short on determinations to actually do things, it does suggest a direction of travel in the years ahead. The potential to loosen building regulations and planning rules to allow more downtown offices to be converted into apartments, and for setting up a primary school in the CBD, possibly in the current Lorne St central library, are included as part of encouraging residential growth in the city centre. (And where then might the library go? One rumoured option is the fraught Sky World complex, underneath the IMAX.) The "Maungawhau-Kingsland-Morningside corridor" will be another coordinated growth zone despite vocal locals' angst, with an expanded Eden Park officially coronated as our national stadium and the no. 2 ground hived off for unspecified development possibilities. Who knows who will be in charge or what might change by the time any of this is ready to proceed, but at least there’s some alignment on the need to – potentially – do something.

By Simon

FRIDAY 17TH

UNCEDED
Tim Melville, Free
Quite nice to see an aboriginal group show going up here. From what I can tell from the snippets on the gallery’s instagram there’s some particularly good looking colourfield paintings involved.

BLUES v HIGHLANDERS
Eden Park, From $20
With looming fuel price surges and soon-to-be-insane inflation numbers about to devastate the country, it’s comforting to know that there’s always going to be peace and quiet and a lot of personal space in which to organise your thoughts during a mid-season Blues Game at Eden Park. Remember: if you do find yourself at this, you don’t know what the person sitting next to you (20 empty seats away) is going through, but it must be bad for them to be here so please show them kindness. 

FABLES LISTENING PARTY
Open, Free
First listen through for the new album Change Is A Slow Moving Beast from 4:30. A Prince party follows at 8.

HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS
Double Whammy, $70
20th anniversary show for If Only You Were Lonely which will be played in full. QUICK FACT, the album was released on the same day as NeYo’s In My Own Words, an album that Hawthorne Heights encouraged fans to misfile in record stores to boost their own album to Number 1 on their MySpace page. Simpler times.

AMAMELIA
Whammy, $20
Electronic folk release show for new album The Joy of Living. Support from Baby Zionov, Samara Alofa and the return of the Kiss and Make Up Club DJs, Lazy Mama and Dustin Diamanté.

PLUMP DJS
Mothership, $35
25th anniversary show for A Plump Night Out, one of the great UK breakbeat albums and, oh my God, I cannot be this old. Support from Adam O, Miss Doodes and Randomplay.

SATURDAY 18TH 

CHANGE AND IMPACT
Central Library, Free
A panel talk for the opening of the new local live music history show on at the library, concentrating on the future of our live music scene with Rosetta Stone (bFM), Taylor McGregor (Independent Music Venues Aoteatoa), Savina Fountain (Big Fan) and Chlöe Swarbrick (Instagram). The day also has Djs playing and a free vinyl giveaway from the library’s collection from 12-4pm.

END OF SUMMER KNEES UP
Freida Margolis, $5
Paella and pinxtos, live jazz from Fruju Peak (Joe Kaptein, Orlando Cooper, Iggy Palmero-Epstein and Finn McNeill) and tarot and oracle readings in a wee caravan parked outside.

TUESDAY 21ST

CLÉO DE 5 À 7
Alliance Française, $10
A rare chance to watch Agnès Varda’s Nouvelle Vague classic surrounded by French people. QUICK FACT, in 2019 this was voted the second best film directed by a woman in a BBC poll (The Piano was first).

THURSDAY 23RD

CASSIE HENDERSON
Bruce Mason, From $60
Pop artist of the year at the NZ Music Awards last year and then went on The Voice in Australia (where she was runner up) which seems to me to be a pretty shocking indictment of the state of the New Zealand Music Industry.

HEAVYCHEST + O & THE MO
Unitarian Church, $36
Indie-pop/folk show with HEAVYCHEST back playing from his new album Ascend, made during a residency in the French Alps, alongside O & The Mo, who are up from Wellington and back from tour in Australia, playing songs from 2025’s Make Way For The Sun.

HYPROV
SkyCity Theatre, $70
20 audience members will be hypnotised by Asad Mecci and made to perform in an improv show with Colin Mochrie (Who’s Line Is It Anyway). Noted here as a reminder that as bad as things seem at the moment, they can always get worse. Hyprov!