Issue No34 — Mums Gone Wild

Bonjour,

I adore my mother. When I was three years old in Provence, I got lost in a market and some kind adults found me and asked me what she looked like. I replied that she was very beautiful and very tall. Indeed she is beautiful. But she is less than five feet tall.

I think we can sometimes be a little off in our impressions of our mothers, too accepting or too critical and, in hospitality, Mother’s Day tends to be the time where these impressions collide headfirst with reality. As a Frenchman I firmly believe a Sunday lunch should be long and relaxed and only end when it’s time to deal with dinner, but sadly Mother’s Day lunch bookings are barely ever this.

Tightly packed into a restaurant (obviously not Cazador which is a perfect place to take your beloved mother on her special day); eating novelty menus with mum-friendly food, often in various shades of red and pink; and being served by staff who might have preferred swimming to Waiheke rather than trying to meet the expectations of guests who are attempting to make a single lunch mend a year of unspoken sleights and tension. I have heard – as it is never this way at Cazador where everyone is happy – that the treatment of restaurant staff can tend towards surly and overly entitled if it becomes clear that this one Hallmark holiday lunch is not going to magically fix a strained relationship.

As a waiter, my favourite part of Mother's Day is when your regulars come in with their mothers. I love to banter with regulars and having their mothers there is a chance to take it to another level. You learn so much more about a person when you meet their mother. 

I hope everyone loves their mothers, tall or short, and not just next Sunday, but all of the time. Give them an unexpected call, send them flowers and take them out for lunch when you think that they will enjoy it, but not just when you were told to. And, also, please love your service staff, who would normally have the day off on Sunday and are possibly already dreading it right now.

Simon Benoit

SIMON BENOIT is the multi-award-winning restaurant manager at Cazador, the multi-award-winning game restaurant in Mt Eden. He is also Cringe’s resident sommelier.

By Jean

NEW OPENINGS

If you follow us on Instagram (and if you don’t, WHY NOT?), you may have seen this one already: MARU MATCHA is now open in Newmarket in the Nature Baby building. Where there is one, others follow: matcha bars, with woody interiors and sea salt maple are becoming a Tāmaki staple. Alongside acai joints, but I like those less.

In the same niche vein, there’s a new gourmet popcorn store open in Ponsonby called AMIN, with flavours like sour cream and chives, smoky chipotle, lime & chilli and more. As an aside: did you know there’s a cinema in Wellington, Light House Cuba, that does NOT sell popcorn? Great for the staff (bitch to clean), but bad for the staff (explaining this constantly  is probably extremely annoying).

If you’ve been around Auckland for a while, you will remember Karangahape Rd’s Satya Chai Lounge at its height of popularity: the Chicken 65! The Paneer 555! Of course, you could get it at Sandringham but it didn’t quite have the same post or pre-show convenience. Happily, the K Rd branch is RE-OPENING tonight.

EVENTS

Coffee Supreme has teamed up with Holiday Records & Stack Records to turn their Auckland HQ (in Grey Lynn) into a SWAP MEET this Saturday 9 May from 10am to 1pm. Coffee is on the house.

NEWS

This year’s Auckland Council ICONIC EATS LIST is out now, which has always had quite a mysterious and nebulous judging system (my guess is that people submit nominations and someone just picks the 100 based on diversity and vibes). 

Victoria Park restaurant Milenta has PROBLEMS WITH CONSENT. As someone that used to work in the Victoria Park area, I can attest to the “eyesore” descriptor.

Sad news for fans of full-contact drinking, The Edinburgh Castle, for a long time the deepest, darkest hole in central Auckland, has been BOUGHT BY NEIL FINN who is reportedly turning it into a wellness retreat. We’re hoping it’s called Sparondelier.

Open has started doing BURGERS FOR LUNCH on Fridays for $16.

In case you missed it, somehow, former executive chef of Queenstown restaurant Amisfield (recently named by Cuisine as the best restaurant in Aotearoa) and TV host Vaughan Mabee has had SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS levelled against him, including of sexual assault, following the announcement of his resignation. As a result, Cuisine has delisted the restaurant from its Good Food Guide. Somehow we are here, once again, having the cyclical conversation about the reprehensible behaviour of chefs in fine-dining kitchens that are highly awarded – this time, I hope it doesn’t just dissipate.

MOTHER’S DAY WISHLIST

Five places to take your mum (or mother figure) to.

In my opinion, you should just take your mum to the place she likes the most. But if you’re looking for something specific and special, here are five alternative options (which still have spots left, at the time of writing).

YOLA AT LEBANESE GROCER
Lebanese Grocer doesn’t usually do dinner, so this is a treat: a $140 special menu across Saturday and Sunday lunches and dinners, featuring a shareable five-course Lebanese feast. It’s five courses, including snacks, and likely to feature plenty of delicious dips.

CAZADOR
Considering our intro, it would be remiss of us not to mention Cazador – although luckily it is a very good restaurant (it has twice won Metro’s Restaurant of the Year!) so there is minimal nepotism at play here. It’s offering a $75 menu served from 12pm, and you’ll be sharing charred permission + stracciatella (yum), spit-roasted poussin and more.

THE ALDERMAN
If you’re looking for somewhere more low-key, my pick would be The Alderman out in Henderson for brunch, since it has picture-perfect surroundings for cute Instagram pics together, and a tasty menu to boot (I’m talking, like, heaps of non-eggs benedict options). Also, licensed!

ADVIEH
Advieh has a special high tea for $89pp on the Sunday itself from 2pm, which includes a glass of Ruinart champagne on arrival. If you want something more substantial, a curated three-course lunch or dinner is on offer as well (featuring John Dory on the bone and spiced artichoke cake).

OLLE
If you’re on the North Shore, I think Olle’s Mother’s Day lunch sounds lovely: $80pp with a four course sharing menu, featuring items like “ricotta dumplings in miso-sweet corn beurre blanc” and “beef katsu sando on toasted brioche”.

By Mike

The central motorway junction that strangles the city, splitting north from south and the centre from its flanks like an enormous, malign capital H, must have seemed like the right idea at the time. Many cities were similarly disfigured in the mid-century rush to go all in on automobility. It could have been worse (mercifully we were spared the proposed elevated motorway along Quay St), but still it has collectively consumed as much land area as the entire core of the CBD above Wellesley St. One concrete effect of the carving up has been to give Newton and Eden Terrace – officially, UPTOWN – a different feel to the rest of the city centre.

Delicately described by the council's Urban Development Office as “recovering from 1960s transport planning” with a “highly variable streetscape quality", it’s many things at once: staunchly independent shops, restaurants, venues and creative businesses mixed in amongst legacy light industry and new housing developments, with slices of heritage buildings remaining along the thoroughfares. The local business association celebrates this diverse gritty character and wants to ensure Uptown “stays edgy”, though they’ll probably be OK with Neil Finn smoothing off the grit from the Edinburgh Castle, a pub so very edgy that it managed to LOSE NOT JUST ITS LIQUOR LICENSE BUT ITS GAMING LICENSE TOO. Ending up on the far side of SH1 has meant less activity over the decades, but the vast barren brownfield site bounded by New North Rd, Mt Eden Rd and the train line will go some way to making it up, with 100,000 square metres of land slated for development into a mix of residential, entertainment and commercial buildings. No risk of a rushed job with this one, though: construction is unlikely to start before 2029 and will take five to ten years(!) to complete.

By Simon

FRIDAY 8TH

STREETSIDE BRITOMART
Britomart, Free
Just so, so many free, bookish events around the Britomart from 6-9pm. Our picks are Tāmaki Noir, put together by Emma Gleason in the loading dock at 59 Tyler St and the Night Mayors Sealed Section in Daily Bread at 8pm, featuring Cringe’s first ever guest contributor, Damien Levi! (Jean’s note: Can someone please DM me all the promised gossip this panel divulges?)

FOLEY
Whammy, $30
Ex-local, sometimes excellent, indie-synthpop duo, back from trying to break Australia for a tour show for their new(ish) EP Like An Actress.

JUSTIN BIEBER PARTY
Tuning Fork, $25
DJs spinning songs from Justin Bieber and his peers all night long. They do want to make it clear that Justin Bieber himself won’t be there, which makes sense because someone who was with him last time he came told me that he thought Auckland was lame and that all the girls here were stink. Rude!

SATURDAY 9TH

PLASMAPHONIC FUTURE ORCHESTRA
Audio Foundation, $15
New, experimental music by Rosie Langabeer performed by what looks like a 12-piece orchestra which includes a piano, at least three saxophones and something called a magnapooter. 

THE SOUR
Whammy, $20
Daughters EP release show for bFM top 10 faves and ex-Hole covers band, The Sour. Support from Paul Cathro and Maebh & The Morrigan.

T&M ALLEYWAY 6
Mercury Lane Alleyway, $25
I thought it might be getting a bit cold for another one of these alleyway shows, and I’m not sure I was wrong so make sure you bring an extra layer. Sets from WAVESLAVE, jackaltheblackal, CCTV and Power Nap.

JAEL
Neck of the Woods, $20
Impressive hirsute Dutch-Indonesian breakbeat/Moluccan folk artist. Seems like the show will have some Djing as well as instrumentation and some vocals. Supports TBA.

RACHEL MILLS WORKROOM SALE
As we wrote in a previous Cringe, local fashion brand Rachel Mills is shutting up shop and clearing out, so go along to its workroom sale from 9am and nab some samples, seconds, trims, workroom equipment or vintage furniture and more.

SUNDAY 10TH

LOVE IS AN ACTION
Objectspace, $15
Cute looking zine workshop with Moira Clune and Kerry Anne Lee to accompany Lee’s show A Chop That Breathes, which is up there till the end of the month.

HIGHSCHOOL
Whammy, $45
Melbourne post-punk popgoths.

AUDREY HOBERT
Powerstation, $80
Ex-Gracie Abrams collaborator, Hobert is either sitting at the end of the Chappell/Sabrina/Gracie pop generation or at the start of whatever is coming after. She’s here at the end of her debut album tour and her single Sue Me is really good but her videos suggest she’s not a great dancer.

TUESDAY 12TH

XLOV
Victory Convention Centre, From $140
The world’s first genderless K-Pop concept group. QUICK FACT: According to Wikipedia, ‘the group name is a combination "X", which represents the unknown and negation, and "lov", which represents unfinished love, with different forms and meanings.’

REGURGITATOR
Double Whammy, $65
One of the best bands of the Brispop explosion of the 1990s. Support from CINDY and Displeasure.

WEDNESDAY 13TH

GENEVA AM
Kahui St David’s, Free
Fresh off winning at the Taites last week, and from Tāmaki Noir in Streetside Britomart event on Friday, Geneva AM is playing a free show in Khyber Pass with Hina and Jack Moser!

THURSDAY 14TH

MOTHER MARY
In Cinemas
A heavily art directed psycho drama from David Lowery (The Green Knight) and A24 with pop star Anne Hathaway squaring off with fashion designer Michaela Coel. Report like a looks-better-than-it-tastes situation but it does look pretty good.

EHNES PLAYS MOZART
Town Hall, From $50
Canadian James Ehnes is here to play some Mozart with the Auckland Phil and visiting conductor Samy Rachid. They’ll be doing Violin Concerto No.4 together and Symphony No.35 is in the warm up slot. After the break, Chausson’s Symphony in B Flat. QUICK FACT: Ehnes plays the ‘Marsick’ Stradivarius of 1715!