Issue No54 — A Carriage of Convenience

In the first week of the CRL, I caught it five times. Three of those times I was catching it from Te Waihorotiu Station to Karang-a-hape Station. Without doxxing myself, it would have taken me less time to walk from my home to my destination than it would have been to take the train. But I caught it anyway. There was a glamour in it. There was a newness. Every time I caught it I sent a photo to my friend with the caption “DING DONG”.

This is no shade on the train. I will never have any shade on the train – it will always have a glamour that sits somewhere between Murder on the Orient Express and even the best bus I’ve been on. This is all the appeal of the new. This is the appeal of the gorgeous transitory nature of public transport. The idea that you can trust something to get you from a place at the time that it promises it will be there to another place at the time that it also promises to be there.

As a midtown (nobody calls it that, but you know exactly what I mean when I say it, so why does nobody call it that) resident, I’ve been fascinated to see how the CRL will change my locals. My locals being the dive bars that have persisted amongst that area of town. Will Metrolanes become a hub as the closest bar to Te Waihorotiu? Will Munster Inn become some sort of satellite bar? Will even Northern Line, named after a United Kingdom concept that most of its clientele will only be vaguely aware of, experience an influx of visitors to keep it alive?

It’s been about two weeks, and two weeks is not a lot to change people’s habits. Eventually people’s habit of calling the entire train system the CRL will fade. Eventually people will realise how easy it is to just stay in town rather than catch a train home. People will realise how pleasant convenience can be, and what further pleasances can be opened up by convenience.

Will my beloved dives ever become hubs? I hope not. May they remain the refuge of the committed and the desperate. But I hope everyone else, business owners and the finders of those businesses, flourish and thrive. I hope that these pristine stations become rank with overuse. May they become dives in their own way – the refuge, the necessity, the convenience of the committed and the desperate.

– Sam

Sam Brooks is an award-winning playwright and journalist. His new show All You Had Was Fun premieres at Q Theatre in November, and he writes local critical coverage for his newsletter DRAMATIC PAUSE.

By Jean

NEW OPENINGS

YOLA, the new restaurant from the team behind Pitt St’s Lebanese Grocer, is opening Tuesday in Ponsonby Central. I would expect dips, shish, fried chicken, plus now the ability to down all of that with a glass of wine or two on the side. 

Also in Ponsonby Central, Cambodian restaurant TINFENY’S (of the famous beef lok lak) is reopening on Friday 25 September after months of construction. 

It looks like the Bistro Saine deli/cafe space is now properly open downstairs on Albert St and called Le Petit Saine.

COMING SOON

A whole raft of new places are on the way, including:

A new golf bar called THE WYNDHAM CLUB is due to open in November. I think that the people behind Sfera in Northcote (and ex-Candela) are involved! It is unclear to me whether you’ll actually be able to play golf in there but you will certainly be able to get a round of drinks.

The next spot from the Emmettverse is due to open on October 2nd in the Faradays department store, LOTTIES. My predictions: some sort of trolley service, finicky silverware, big $30 salads. 

Froyo is returning to Ponsonby in a big way with both Yomi and Shibbys opening up in and across from Ponsonby Central. Should someone let them know about photobooths?

And, finally, great news for pizza lovers: ROSALIA’S LIVES!

EVENTS + NEWS

Bear Gelato is turning three on Sunday, and has a ONE DAY ONLY BLACK FOREST GELATO SANDO to celebrate, in collaboration with Butter Baby who are also going to be popping up with a pandan chiffon cake.

For everyone who was either jazzed or sad that the Family Bar people lost their liquor licenses, delay your celebration/protest march as they are staying open WITH A TEMPORARY LICENSE while the owner appeals the decision.

The MOON FESTIVAL is this weekend at Potters Park from Friday till Sunday.

A couple of interesting looking talks from the Auckland Heritage Festival this week on the topic of food: firstly, a HISTORY OF EATING OUT IN AUCKLAND this Saturday at Freida Margolis with historians Felicity Barnes and Andy Fenton, and then Joanne Drayton is doing one on Hudson and Halls at Studio One next Wednesday. 

VIA REDDIT: Broke Boy Taco in Birkenhead GONEBURGER.

By Mike

Just in time for the start of Tāmaki's new train era, the coup at Heart of the City is complete. The central city business association and lobby group has lurched through several crises over the last year that culminated in the mass resignation of its executive committee in June. Members felt their position was untenable having received a petition calling for their removal from business and landlords aligned with temporarily ousted CEO, Viv Beck, who had returned to the role in May after her suspension was deemed unjustified by the Employment Relations Authority. Elections to the board last week returned several Beck loyalists and while the chair is yet to be appointed it seems likely that the CEO will be on safe ground with her employer for now. Whether Beck’s public statements denouncing the state of downtown – a singular way of encouraging business activity that arguably led to the relationship breakdown – will continue remains to be seen.

There is a tension between defending the interests of business ratepayers and promoting the city itself, with the former more likely to focus on pleas to fix issues real and perceived than on celebrating successes. Four of the ten new Heart of the City board members are involved in property development and leasing rather than the retail businesses with which the public interact, and so represent a more specific constituency. Unfortunately, what’s good for landlords is not always good for the people, with THE NEGATIVE EXTERNALITIES OF LOW OCCUPANCY BORNE, INEVITABLY, BY THE PUBLIC. The Greens' recently announced policies to ensure that commercial rents can go down when reviewed rather than only up, and to allow councils to auction off leases for shops left empty for a year or more (as is now the case in England), are a rare attempt to balance the public and private interests inherent in the urban context. It’s far from certain they will get implemented but, with interventionist policies coming from all sides and only a month until voter enrolment closes, there could be more than just spring in the air.

Choice items from the liquidation sales of Auckland’s two-speed recovery.
By Simon

ALL THE STUFF FROM MEKONG BABY
Closes tonight
Some quite good gear, stock and furniture in here and mostly in pretty good condition if you’re in the mood to pick over the carcass.

CDS/LPS/INSTAX FILM/PHONECASES ETC ETC ETC
Closes Monday
28th and penultimate sale of the JB HiFi insurance claim jamboree and the auction people are losing patience with piles of movies and albums stuffed into boxes, AI itemised (so it takes a bit of decoding to work out what’s actually in each box) and going for a song. Also we’re so deep into this thing now that I’m guessing the Instax film, cables and cases all stay pretty cheap – it’s like the great Kitchen Things Liquidation of 25/26 all over again.

LASER LEVEL SET
Current bid $45, Closes tonight
Much like Brian Tamaki I am constantly worried that the things I am looking at are not straight and this construction company liquidation is packed with laser levels with which to set my mind at ease.

BULK STACK OF SAFETY BARRIERS
Current bid $10, Closes Monday
If you are frustrated by an unfixed pothole, an annoyingly parked neighbour, recalcitrant Lime scooters or even just other annoying safety barriers and cones, you can now take action and imprison them with your own (incredibly affordable) barrier system.

FLYING OUT LIQUIDATION SALE #6
Closes Friday week
3 pages of vinyl and cds arranged in curious small groupings - interest must be getting low this deep into the process and a lot of it is yet to get a single bid. Worth flicking through.

By Simon

THURSDAY 24TH

FEMMES AND THEMS
Basement, koha
Now monthly comedy/variety show that won the Best Regular Show award in Wellington in 2023/24 and Best Live Show in the guild awards last year. This month: Birdie Thompson, Rebecca Mary Gwendolon, Summer Xia, Izzy Renton, Evie Orpe, Florence Hartigan and Eliza Sharpe (fka Mx Well).

FRIDAY 25TH

PRINCESS CHELSEA
Kāhui St David’s, $45
A new show, 7 Seconds in Heaven – deepening her collaboration with puppeteer-about-town Tom Tuke. Also playing Joshua Worthington-Church (bass/guitar), Joe Kaptein on the church’s pipe organ. Support from Hermione Johnson playing prepared piano. These shows are always presented with an amazingly generous amount of effort and it’s bound to sell out so get tickets! Stage and lighting design by Christopher Stratton and Molloy respectively.

BINI
Eventfinda Stadium, From $84
8-piece Filipino girl group who spent three years incubating at the televised Star Hunt Academy before completely blowing up and are now referred to as The Nation’s Girl Group, and they were the first Filipino group to do Coachella when they played there this year. Bini fans are called Blooms and are recognisable by their flower-shaped lightsticks called Bloombilyas. Wikipedia lists 25 separate corporate endorsement deals for the group. RELATED: Filipino Fiesta is on at the Albany stadium on Sunday with Pinoy food and entertainment.

2016 WERLD
Whammy, $5
Cost of living focussed EDM throwback, $5 at UTR or $10 on the door with CC:ME, Dishwasher and Lerm.

SATURDAY 26TH

FARADAYS OPENING DAY
131 Queen St, Free
We walk past the site of this new fancy department store a couple of times a week and nosily poke our heads in to check progress and my god they are putting a huge amount of pressure on themselves to get this open on Saturday. It seems like there is a huge amount of stuff still to do and that’s before they start loading in the frocks and cosmetics and whatever else they are selling. There’s a little documentary on their website about how stressed they are which is quite good. Good luck to all concerned!

TOUCHSPRINGS
Gus Fisher, Free
Flora-focussed show with video works, installation and drawings by Miranda Bellamy and Amanda Fauteux who split their time between Dunedin and Canada. The artists are giving a talk to explain themselves on Saturday with Colleen Coco Collins who has some work in the show too. Also opening at Gus FIsher on Saturday: As Loyal Kiwis We Cannot Desire, an installation by Frances Libeau all about the Homosexual Law Reform Act of 1986.

ROKC THE MOON
Anna Miles, Free
Group show with youngsters Reece King and Tyrone Te Waa and oldster Peter Hawkesby who’s work might just be left over from his last show at the gallery which only closed on Sunday.

PETER LANE MEMORIAL TOURNAMENT
Mt Albert War Memorial, From $10
Huge night for the IPW wrestlers, in memory of IPW hall of famer Peter Lane with a big bill of eight wrestlers, including a match for the IPW NZ Heavyweight Championship! If you get the $30 ticket you get a seat in the front row which seems well worth the extra bucks.

HORRIFIC EVENING OF LOUD DUMB NOISE
The Claddagh, $15
Alt/Punk night within screaming distance of Westfield Newmarket with Warm Leather, Chem Chain, Prosa, Megahowler, Commodore 65, Paradox Princess and Scene Beef (Cringe’s band name of the week!).

SUBMOTION VOL. 1
Button Factory + Old Folks Ass. $40
Multi-stage bass music night across three stages with visuals, installations and 14 DJs including Dylan C, Paddy Free, Brown Sugar, Jafa Sound System and many more!

KITTI - INTERNET + GIRL MUSIC
Neck of the Woods, $23
Sugar rush night of hyperpop, hard dance, hardcore, jersey and donk with the Dollhouse trio, DJ brenda, bobstevenson, KEJU b2b WHIMC and lu*two. Costume/cosplay encouraged.

SUNDAY 27TH

GENEVA AM WITH STRINGS
Goblin, $10
Geneva AM singing with the Ngā Whetu String Trio, followed by DJ sets from Geneva and Eric. Kids under 16 go free!

TUESDAY 29TH

TRUNDLE LECTURE 2026
UoA Arts Faculty, Free
Prof France de Angelis from the University of British Columbia speaks on indigeneity in ancient Rome and should be a nice way to spend a Tuesday evening for the tiny subset of you who voraciously consume history podcasts but also don’t have a regular pub quiz booking on Tuesdays.

AGNES OBEL
NZICC, Form $95
Airy, Berlin based, Danish neo-classical/jazz-pop singer/pianist who vibes a bit like Joni Mitchell/Kate Bush and looks a bit like ex-Shortland St nurse, Tandi Wright.