Prizegiving.

Dear friends and enemies,

Jean’s flown the coop to live in Wellington for a year, where she will write a novel and probably get a little depressed due to the weather and the poopy waters surrounding the city. This week, instead of her insightful observations on the food scene, you’re stuck with me, Damien Levi: emo boy in an email world, hōhā Māori and LOCAL LOSER known for publishing/editing TĀMAKI MAKAURAU 2025: ESSAYS ON LIFE IN AUCKLAND (Jean featured!). In my goal to “open the scope of the newsletter”, I’m writing about two things that Pōneke is arguably better known for: literature and film.

It’s probably clear that I am a book boy, and yesterday was a big day for New Zealand literature as the shortlist for the 2026 OCKHAM NEW ZEALAND BOOK AWARDS was announced. I’m pretty chuffed as a novel I published, HOODS LANDING BY LAURA VINCENT, is one of four titles up for the biggest prize, the Jann Medlicott Acorn Prize for Fiction. The book is set in an ambiguous town on the rural edges of Auckland and, while decidedly less cosmopolitan than Cringe’s usual fare, features wonderful, descriptive food writing. This is probably owing to Laura’s history as a food writer and blogger on HUNGRYANDFROZEN.COM.

I haven’t read the other fiction shortlistees yet, but notable reads from other categories that you might want to put on hold at the library really quick are Black Sugarcane by Nafanua Purcell Kersel, No Good by Sophie van Waardenberg and This Compulsion in Us by Tina Makereti. The former two are debut poetry collections that sizzle with feeling: love, grief, anger, loss—all the sweetness and all the bitterness. The latter is a personal portrait of a Māori woman through essays. It’s Tina’s story, but within it are also the many stories of wāhine Māori. They’re swirling and sharp and begging to be read.

Switching gears from the page to the screen, the film society is a massive cultural movement in Wellington. My suggestion to Jean as a newbie to the city? Don’t miss out. Members have local president Harry Evans to thank for the society’s invigoration over the last couple years. Heading down to the subterranean Academy Cinema here in Auckland doesn’t hit quite the same as the Embassy, but eager filmgoers can join me there (and about 35 white folks over the age of 45) to broaden their cinematic horizons. 

THE TĀMAKI MAKAURAU BRANCH kicks off next Monday, 9 March and runs until November. Memberships are a cool $180 for the year, averaging out to about $5 a film. I’m especially looking forward to Merata Mita’s Hotere​ (2001) and Hirokazu Kore-eda’s Monster (2023). A cute thing about going to the cinema is logging the film together on Letterboxd when the lights come up. Maybe that could be us?

Thoughts and prayers,
Damien

by Jean

HAPPENINGS

There’s a YUMSO POP-UP at Parable House this weekend, Sunday 8 March, 8am till sold out.

A “brew bar takeover” is happening at Rumours THIS SUNDAY from 10am till 2pm, featuring COFFEEMAN good from Japan. A guest barista will also feature. It all sounds very serious.

If you are a fan of food and theatre and would enjoy experiencing both at the same time, Josh Hinton is going to make a chicken curry on stage while telling you stories during A PLACE IN THE SULTANS KITCHEN. On this week at Q Theatre ans part of the Arts Festival. You get to eat the curry!

If you somehow find yourself with nothing to do on Saturday, take a trip to Birkenhead for DAY OF THE CHILLI, which will feature “mouth-watering street food” and local eateries offering up their version of “Chilli Tapas”, whatever that is.

Bad news for the diversity of cuisine in the High St area: the recently-closed KAPIBA RAMEN is going to be ANOTHER Malatang.

It always pains me to eat eggs on toast in a cafe, but if you insist, then Ozone has a $10 EGGS DEAL now – every Tuesday and Wednesday.

COMING SOON

Matt Lambert has announced that his new restaurant is called RETURN, which he writes is, “A return home. A return to craft. A return to standards that don’t bend.” Though the short-lived Gigi’s has only just closed its doors, it doesn’t look like Return is that far away. We look forward to experiencing the standards which do not bend.

The place we were unreliably informed was going to be a new Pie Rollas on Symonds St is actually a new Vietnamese place called VietCorner, advertising Banh Mi, Pho and coffee. Thanks to Gabriel for the heads up!

A new cafe called PACO POCKET CAFE is opening up in MoveSpace at 473 Dominion Rd, a stretch where it is strangely hard to get a good flat white. One to keep your eye on, because the grand opening is still a while away (29th March).

I spotted on someone’s Instagram story that ZAITOON KEBAB, a Palestinian food stall in the Southmall food court, is going to be opening a new space city side soon. 

By Mike

Karangahape Road has been through many phases in its 180 years of urbanisation: as the first southern boundary of the city; Auckland’s busiest shopping street for decades; dealing with the loss of some 50,000 nearby residents when the motorways were plowed through; the resulting downturn and disreputability of 50 years ago; and the slow but steady gentrification more recently. Always culturally totemic, the neighbourhood begins a new phase this week with the COMPLETION OF THE PRECINCT UPGRADES in advance of the CRL opening. (The ‘Project K’ traffic calming changes to Mercury Lane that have just been completed narrowly avoided being squelched by a very vocal minority of extremely local residents after a successful CAMPAIGN BY GREATER AUCKLAND. Enjoy the pedestrianisation while you can, as we’ve heard that those same residents have managed to convince AT to reopen car access from Pitt Street, alas.)

With its latest incarnation as shiny new metro line destination on the horizon, we can be sure that the change will continue. By quite how much remains to be seen – tens of thousands of people will pass underneath daily but how many will surface before arriving downtown? Those restaurants, cafés and bars that have survived the CRL works and post-Covid slump that can stay strong for another six months will surely get some relief, but hopefully not at the expense of a wholesale shift in the vibe. Already, many of the more affordable tenancies offered during the disruptions are being ended as landlords anticipate higher rents, and some longstanding businesses haven’t made it through (RIP Charlie’s). Auckland would be diminished if K Rd were to be homogenised into another upscaled shopping and dining quarter. Where the balance ends up, we must wait and see.

By Simon

Items from the liquidation sales of Auckland’s two-speed recovery.

BIOLISTIC PARTICLE DELIVERY SYSTEM
Closes Monday, Current bid $100
This thing uses a ‘helium pulse to accelerate gold or tungsten particles coated with DNA directly into target cells, including cultures, tissues, plants, and more.’ Imagine the fun you’ll have altering the genetics of unsuspecting strangers!

GLASS LIFTING SUCTION CUPS
Closes Monday, Current bid $25
I have been unemployed for a while now and am considering turning to a life of crime. In this new life I like to think that I’ll be able to use something like this to scale the sides of tall glass buildings, inside of which I will commit my daring robberies. Annoyingly, one has a ‘do not use’ sticker on it which seems menacing and could hamper things a bit.

VEHICLE SEATS
Closes Monday, Current bid $10
If you have sworn yourself to a life of celibacy but are worried about your ability to follow through on it, having these car seats functioning as your lounge suite at home should work nicely to create the ick required to curtail any potential shenanigans.

PET DOORS
Closes Monday, Current bid $80
Having all seven of these pet doors installed around your house would make for a unique and adorable architectural feel.

SMEG STAND MIXER
Closes Monday, Current bid $160
Another week, another of the endless Kitchen Things liquidation sales. After this week, all of you that want one of these hundreds of mixers that keep coming up, week after week after week, should have one and you can all now make this BROWNIE RECIPE which I wholeheartedly endorse - I use Whittakers 62% Dark Cacao for the chocolate and suggest underbaking it by 3-4 minutes if you like it fudgy.

STARTER JACKET
Closes this morning, Current bid $60
Cool jacket.

GUCCI GAZELLES
Closes this morning, Current bid $40
A steal! UK 8.5 apparently but look quite small in the picture and I think they’ve jumbled the sizes and they are actually a 6. Sadly also in the lot are these weird looking Kangol shoes which are a bit yuck but you can just throw them out or something.

Also, I don’t know if it’s a sign that the recession has finally reached the wealthy or if someone is just going through a divorce but there are FOUR BIRKINS in the current Webbs accessories sale.

By Simon

FRIDAY 6TH

WARRIORS v ROOSTERS
Go Media Stadium, From $25
Time for the mass delusion of ‘our year’ to begin anew. For those not going to the game, and for reference for the rest of the season, here’s dedicated Warriors fan Joe from Heroes for Sale’s Top 4 Bars To Watch The Warriors In:
1. The Mercury Bar and Gaming Lounge, 5 Mercury Lane
2. Schapiro’s, 224 Symonds St
3. Grey Lynn RSA, 1 Francis St
4. Cousin Scott’s, 486 Lake Rd (hasn’t been yet but looks good and keen to try)

JIMMY ACNE AND EDIE VC
Geihinkan, $15
Release party for joint single BE MY BREAD which is two minutes and ten seconds of whimsical cuteness. With support from Cringe’s favourite name spelling of the week, Jeniffer (Grapehouse).

TONY HADLEY (SPANDAU BALLET)
Powerstation, $95
Worth it, just for THIS.

ELECTRIC BODIES
+ Saturday, Audio Foundation, $15
Put on your watching and thinking shoes for a series of performative sound and body experiments that don’t read like they are quite going to reach the status of actual music. With Ivan Lupi, Sarah Elsworth + Anita Clark, Jazmine Rose Phillip, Cindy Yunha Jang + Sung Hwang Bobby Park, Adam Ben-Dror (with mysterious guest), Rachel Ruckstuhl-Mann + Clare Luiten and Antonia Barnett-McIntosh. I would say it’s roughly par for the number of double barrelled surnames you’d expect at an art-noise event.

bRAVE 004
The Mothership, $20
A likeable call to wear your ‘speediest eyewear’ to this 4th edition of the annual bFM dance party. With Co-Governance, Stinky Jim, ngaru b2b BBYFACEKILLA and Porcelain b2b Prose.

SATURDAY 7TH

BLUES v CRUSADERS
Eden Park, From $25
The glorious Blues — who will have to summon the moxie to suit up for another game of cursed Super Rugby after falling victim to some of the lousiest refereeing I have ever seen over the past few weeks — are back to take on the LOUSY, SELFISH CRUSADERS. 

NABIHAH IQBAL & MARIAM
Neck of the Woods, $30
If recent world events have you jonesing for some dance music with a Middle Easterny vibe, there will be no better place this weekend for you than this.

HARD TECHNO
Secret Location, From $50
European techno. No phones, dress in black. Promoted by YLTM - who register back to a warehouse in East Tamaki (near the Why Knot outlet store where The Spinoff’s Duncan Greive buys all his cheese) so I guess there’s a pretty good chance that’s where the secret venue is. They have an OnlyFans you can sign up to for event pics but it currently has no media uploaded. These people seem like they are having a good time.

SUNDAY 8TH

DAYBUS JAZZ ORCHESTRA
Goblin, $20
So it seems that people that go along really enjoy this sprawling behemoth of loosely rehearsed jazz so maybe it’s worth going along to see what the small amount of fuss is about.

MONDAY 9TH

THE JACKETS
The Mothership, $26
Touring, poppy Garage Psych Punk trio from Switzerland – they seem like they’ll be QUITE FUN.

ROOSTER
Sky/Neon
New HBO comedy series from Bill Lawrence and Matt Tarses (Scrubs) with Steve Carell playing a famous author on a college campus delivering some unwelcome help to his daughter.

WEDNESDAY 11TH

TE HIRINGA O MATITI
Tim Melville, Free
Joint show opening for Ngataiharuru Taepa who does cool looking wooden indigenous pattern making and Saffron Te Ratana who makes all sorts of stuff. They showed together last year in Wellington so I guess this might be an extension of that?

THURSDAY 12TH

DUCK POND
Till Sunday, Aotea Centre, From $69
Carny version of Swan Lake — one of the headline shows at this year’s Arts Festival. 

PILLION
In Cinemas
Eric Northman from True Blood doms Ozempic Dudley Dursley from Harry Potter. Won the screenplay prize at Cannes!