Restoring Balance

Hello,

It's a common Chinese philosophy to fight heat with heat. While most Kiwi summer remedies turn to an ice-cold beer and aircon on full blast, Eastern wisdom prescribes warm water, piping hot soups and spicy food, to expel 'damp heat' (read: sweat) and restore a balanced temperature. The sweatier, the better.

What better medicine, then, than the Sichuan peppercorn? Known for its distinct 'mala' flavour (ma = numbing, la = spicy), this firey, floral chili seems to have tingled Auckland’s tastebuds of late, if the number of Mala Tang diners are anything to go by (I've counted three openings in the past year alone, just on Dominion Road).

And so, at the height of summer last week, I found myself at TANG HUO KUNG FU, my local malatang. The concept is simple: a choose-your-own adventure experience. Select your ingredients, cooking style (dry stir-fried, or in a soup), spice level, then hand it over to be cooked. In theory, it's a genius business model: you get to design your own dish, and the chef's work is set out for them. It's fast, cheap, and packs a punch. In reality, it’s a bit of a wild west out there, with the execution making or breaking the difference between an addictive high and a slow, sweaty demise. 

To the uninitiated but curious, follow these ground rules to stack the odds in your favour:

1) For obvious hygiene reasons, choose somewhere busy, with a proper cold food section.

2) Stick to ingredients you recognise, and go heavy on the veggies and carbs. There will be homogenous balls of all shapes and sizes, offal, and some questionable translations, but there will also be broccoli, mushrooms, and noodles.

3) Malatang flavours are full on – a salty, spicy, tingly explosion – so, if there's a condiment bar, add anything that counteracts this: pickles and fruit are good, or if they have a DIY sauce station, I love a sesame-based sauce to tame the heat.

For me, malatang is a seasonal craving that tends to surface once a year – a sort of annual vice that is euphoric on first bite but truthfully, a bit punishing by the end. By the time I finish, I regret having started – of course until next summer, when the only solution to Auckland’s humidity is devouring another bowl.

Kindest,
Frances

FRANCES LOWE is an Auckland-based creative and director of LOCLAIRE, a made-to-order womenswear brand that brings a thoughtful sensibility to design, and the impact clothing has on our precious environment. Her favourite food experiences include Cantonese roast pork from GOLDEN GARDEN - best eaten at home on the couch with a movie, TEMPERO for date night, and BUNGA RAYA for birthdays (order the XO squid, and if you're lucky Aunty will sing you happy birthday).

by Jean

Reader Natalia says that Acho’s will be taking over the old Bar Celeste space (most recently Honoka Yakitori). I would say, expect them to continue the lineage and continue serving yakitori – but hopefully better than Honoka’s. 

The PASIFIKA FESTIVAL is on this weekend at Western Springs – food will abound.

Autumnal menus are rolling out across the city at the moment. What are autumnal menus? Usually the food is all cosy. THIS ONE from Parro seems particularly tasty.

Karangahape Rd wine bar No 7 is taking over the space next door (that used to be the K Rd Business Association offices) and is LOOKING FOR A CHEF.

We’re off (we meaning Cringe minus me, sad) to try the very French-looking SATURDAY LUNCH at Gilt this weekend and will report back.

Sorry the food section is so lackluster this week – unfortunately we are bound to the whims of the unpredictable Auckland hospitality scene. To make up for it, I’ve written a lengthy preview in relation to the other part of my life I’m now thinking a lot about: books.

By Jean

The AUCKLAND WRITER’S FESTIVAL programme dropped yesterday morning, and here are some writers that I would want to see. If you’re wondering why to attend a writer’s talk in the first place, seeing as their whole schtick is the written word: writers are usually also really good thinkers, because they spend a lot of time in there, and hearing the ideas articulated in conversational form is really very pleasant. It helps to read the book (but not always necessary).

I want to go hear TONY TULATHIMUTTE speak and understand if he’s as much of a weirdo as he obviously, definitely is (as showcased in his collection of short stories about incels, Rejection). He’ll be in conversation with Victor Rodger and I’m sure they’ll have a really fun time together.

One of the biggest literary stars of recent years, RF KUANG, is coming to town. I remember seeing a story about her appearance at Singapore; it was so busy that her snaking line of ardent dark academia fans became a literal health and safety hazard. Her most recent novel was Katabasis, but she is well-known for Babel and Yellowface, and has a very Public Intellectual way of speaking.

I’d go see Maria Reva who wrote Endling, a tale about mail-order brides and endangered snails in Ukraine. And also Lily King, who wrote Heart the Lover and Writers and Lovers and does the heart-tugging genre of “literary romance” very well. And probably also Tayari Jones, who wrote An American Marriage, and Yann Martel, who wrote Life of Pi, for god sakes.

The woman behind the English translation of Heart Lamp by Banu Mushtaq (which won the 2025 International Booker Prize), Deepa Bhashti, will be talking translation + the politics of language, which I find very interesting. 

And, of course, support writers from Aotearoa: big names like Witi Ihimaera and Elizabeth Knox. Plus, there are free sessions with debut authors like Joseph Trinidad (whose book of essays I am DYING to read!), and a discussion of the NZ GOTHIC with two Lauras (Vincent and Borrowdale). Also if you’re interested in the publishing industry, Gabi from The Big Idea will be doing a series of bite-sized interviews with publishers and book-selling insiders for a peek behind the curtain on the weekend.

BTW you should definitely, DEFINITELY go to the SPICE SALON with Tony Tulathimutte, Maria Reva, Laura Borrowdale and Joseph Trinidad, hosted by Samuel Te Kani. 

There really is so much this year, including big names I’ve missed, like David Szalay (Flesh), Mick Herron (spy writer responsible for the books behind tv show Slow Horses), Helen Garner (The Mushroom Tapes, amongst lots of others), and Florence Knapp (The Names). Go forth and browse the programme at your leisure. Better if you can get your hands on one physically!

By Mike

Déjà vu for residents of Papatoetoe this week, as their 2025 LOCAL BODY ELECTION IS BACK for another go around. Last year’s local board subdivison result was declared void after a court challenge by Labour candidate Vi Hausia found that the election was “permeated or infected” by fraudulent voting. Turnout across Auckland was down in every region bar Ōtara-Papatoetoe, where enthusiasm for the democratic process spiked by a remarkable 7.5%. Four first-time candidates from the Papatoetoe Ōtara Action Team swept the results, easily winning all four seats – another remarkable outcome. 53 constituents who tried to cast a special vote were told they had already voted, and, remarkably, 50 of those 53 fraudulent ballots were for POAT. (No allegations of fraud have been made against POAT; police enquiries are ongoing.)

If this was an attempt by persons unknown to steal an election then thankfully it was too brazen to succeed. Auckland faces an array of challenges and local democracy ought to be part of the solution, not yet another problem to triage. Perhaps we’ve reached the point where sending voting papers through the post is not just old fashioned but a vulnerability: it’s a lot easier to harvest ballots when nobody checks their letterbox. Like democracy itself, however, this may be the worst system except for all of the others, and god help us if and when it all moves online.

By Simon

FRIDAY 13TH

WARRIORS v RAIDERS
Mt Smart, From $25
Perfect start to the season last week and there is no doubt in my mind that this is our year.

UPCHUCK
Double Whammy, $70
Atlanta skate punks with reportedly a very energetic live show. Support from DARTZ.

GOOD LUCK, HAVE FUN, DON’T DIE
Prime Video
Gore Verbinski directs Sam Rockwell in a slightly insane-looking movie about the perils of the immediate future. With Michael Pena, Zazie Beetz and Haley Lu Richardson.

SATURDAY 14TH

HENRY TURNER + ANDREW McLEOD
Ivan Anthony, Free
Two new shows going up at Ivan Anthony — Henry Turner’s The Fear, The Guilt and The Pain which looks quite Michael Stevensonish, and Andrew McLeod’s In the garden and his work looks pretty amazing at the moment if the promo image is anything to go by.

MUROKI
Double Whammy, $40
Vibey roots/RnB artist back from Berlin and touring his debut album, Amber Skies, with some production by Cringe fried chicken reviewer Justyn Pilbrow and keys by Joe Kaptein, who seems to be everywhere at the moment. Support from Great South and Len Blake.

IRON AND WINE
Powerstation, $80
Melodic indie-folk from touring American, Sam Beam, who is also a film studies lecturer and please believe me, he looks the part.

SUNDAY 15TH

BLUES v MOANA PASIFIKA
Eden Park, From $20
I’m not sure this local derby is really becoming what people hoped it would but it’s nice to see some rugby where the other team shouldn’t all be in jail for a change. NOTE: 3:30pm kickoff.

DERYA YILDIRIM & GRUP ŞİMŞEK
Double Whammy, $65
Jazzy Anatolian funk-folk featuring Derya Yildrim’s bağlama, which is kind of like a Turkish lute. Their music is EXTREMELY PRETTY. Support from WAIWHAI (who deservedly take out Cringe’s Band Name of the Week this issue).

EIVØR & SYLVAINE
Powerstation, $90
Hyper-dramatic nordic folk singers.

TUESDAY 17TH

WARNING: ST PATRICKS DAY

TAKUTAI NIGHTS
Britomart, Free
Free movies in Takutai Square this week - every night at 7:30. Bring it On on Tuesday, then the new Beetlejuice, Spirited Away, some shorts from the Maoriland festival and Boy on Saturday.

CNBLUE
Victory Convention Centre, From $189
Korean pop-rockers playing at that modern church down on Beaumont St but they don’t seem to be religiously affiliated. QUICK FACT: CNBLUE is what wikipedia is telling me is a backronym and stands for Code Name Burning Lovely Untouchable and Emotional.

WEDNESDAY 18TH

ANTO YELDEZIAN, DESERT ISLAND
Coastal Signs, Free
I always find these paintings a bit messy, but everyone else seems to like them so I guess it’s a me problem.

LINKIN PARK
Spark Arena, $312
Made possible by the government’s new Events Attraction Package - if Chris Luxon can just hold on till here, the flood of support from the nation’s thankful NuMetal fans should keep him in the leader’s seat till well after the election. The Chester Bennington parts are now sung by Emily Armstrong of Dead Sara.

THURSDAY 19TH

SHANGHAI SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA
+ Friday, Town Hall, From $59
If everything I’ve heard about tiger parenting is true then this orchestra is going to be amazing. The Thursday show has a contemporary piece by Elliot Leung and two pieces by Tchaikovsky with soloists Jian Wang and Serena Wang.

SWEET TREATS 
Whammy, Free
The long-standing free punk night returns, this time with CCTV, Distracted and Scream By Tulips.

FELIX DA HOUSECAT
The Mothership, $80
One of the great 90s Chicago House DJs. With support from Greg Churchill and Doctor J.

DHURANDHAR: THE REVENGE
In Cinemas
I sat through the — admittedly entertaining — three and a half hours of Dhurandhar only to discover at the end that it was just part one of a duology and now I feel like after investing so much time I need to find out what happens by sitting through this further 200 minutes of it. If I find out after this cumulative 7 hours that it’s actually a trilogy I will not be responsible for my actions.