Shore Thing.

Hello,

I have been residing on the North Shore for the last couple weeks, a move which I had been catastrophising to everyone, seeing as I’ve lived centrally for the past few years. During that time, I became the kind of Aucklander that likened the act of crossing the bridge to some sort of impossible interplanetary mission, which, as someone who grew up on the Shore, used to annoy the hell out of me. I swear people elongate the length of The Bridge, adding screeds of kilometres when it is, literally, just one. 1.02km. In reality, getting from the city to Albany only takes about 20 or so minutes, the equivalent of getting from the city to Mt Roskill. Ah, here I am, defending the Shore. You can take the girl out, etc. etc.

Apart from parental financial support, the biggest upside of the Shore is the food. For example, the other day, I had the best gamjatang (pork backbone soup) at Albany restaurant HONGDAE, which is located right next door to popular Korean butchery OH DEAR MEATS. I have talked about gamjatang an embarrassing amount of times throughout my food writing career, and have described the act of angling the bone just-so to get at the bouncy cartilage many times over, but I will describe it again, because I love it so much. There are, of course, less good things about the Shore: the concentration of teenagers (high); the lack of public transport connections within the suburbs (no bus to the mall, make it make sense); and the cursed malaise of ennui (could be personal). 

Despite the cricket-laden (meaning the bugs, not the sport) sedateness of the Shore, it is, perhaps, a positive thing to experience more of Auckland before I abandon it for more governmental pastures. My boundaries had become too small, shrunken into the central suburbs. I forgot how much I missed my humungous Taiping supermarket; my Chinese seafood shop. If anything, I need to try and get 10 months worth of decent Asian food in, as I hear it is somewhat non-existent down in our capital city. 

Love,
Jean

RUMOUR MILL: The old Starkwhite space on Karangahape Rd, which is about to become a cafe-bar-artists studios-music venue-event space-community centre called HARDCORE, is due to open this month as a cafe first, before the liquor license comes through. Sam had a little peek in, and it currently has a mammoth blue-grey counter spanning the left wall, with a small blue coffee machine atop. 

CRINGE EVENT ALERT: My friend Kimberley from SIDE SCOOP and I are hosting an ice cream and wine pop-up called DOUBLE PARKED on Sunday 15th February from 2-7pm at Pitt St bar/cafe NO 7… It is inspired by the various ice cream and wine venues sprinkled around Europe, most notably FOLDEROL in Paris, which had to ban people from filming TikToks because of how chic it looked. 

Double park yourself with a glass of vino and a coupe of ice cream (and look chic). There’s a lot going on that day, including BIG GAY OUT and the WINE PICNIC at Kelmarna, so I know you’re out and about already, so might as well stop by!

NEW OPENINGS

There should be more ice cream places in the central city, in my opinion, especially further up from the Giapo-Duck Island duo down near Britomart. So, intriguingly, a new gelato place called FIFI’S GELATO is going into High St across the road from Unity Books.

If you saw our new restaurant round-ups on Instagram (and if you didn’t, please FOLLOW US), you would have seen: MIXED 1981, an austere-looking Korean cafe on Fort St that’s open till 10pm; AGNES in Birkenhead, which is headed up by Ada’s old chef Alfie Ingham, an all-day bistro that is doing English classics at night; and ROAST HOUSE, a new Cantonese restaurant in the central city that took over the longstanding Wongkok Cafe.

A new Indian restaurant, AARTH, is opening at 1/333 Parnell Rd on the 11th February. It’s owned by Vinayak Shah, who was most recently at Ki Maha, Sidart, Sidart at the French Cafe, Cassia, and others. The menu includes dishes like crayfish tikka masala, duck nihari, whitebait bhaji and more.

OTHER NEWS

The FREIDA MARGOLIS market is back, with the first one this Saturday from 10am till 1pm.

Westmere cafe SEABREEZE is back open for evening service on Thursdays to Saturday, and this Friday you can find someone (OLI RODRIGUESZ) slinging Sri Lankan hoppers.

SAAN is back at Perch on the 24th-28th February. For those of us that need reminding: Saan was a Thai restaurant in Ponsonby where Superette now is. It was one of my favourites, and head chef Lek is coming back here to cook for one week.

Over the years High Street has cycled through cultural currency and inconspicuousness as the city’s centre of gravity has shifted around. It’s been some time since the most recent peak, straddling the millennium, when BOX AND CAUSE CELEBRE centred Auckland’s club scene there. Several long-term anchors like Unity Books, De Brett’s and Crane Brothers (soon to be expanding next door) provide continuity alongside Melba and the row of 19th-century pubs on Vulcan Lane. Freyberg Square’s 2017 refresh is holding up well, too. Despite no shortage of foot traffic, however, there’s a sense that more could be made of what is one of the most pleasant and human-scale quarters in the city: a return to High Street as more of a destination rather than a thoroughfare.

Auckland Council has their PLAN IN THE WORKS, but it is ominous to see the second example of chain luxury retail encroaching on what is a traditionally independent shopping street. A Watches of Switzerland is being fitted out at no. 18 following on from Aesop at no. 35, their parent companies perhaps anticipating the coming public investment. Let’s hope the improvements to the streetscape don't inadvertently hasten the erosion of the character that has kept High Street distinctive over the years. - Mike

Items from the liquidation sales of Auckland’s two-speed recovery.

We have noticed that as more people are reading the newsletter, some of the items in this section are getting a bit expensive – in many auctions there will be multiple instances of the item we are listing so it pays to click around a bit!

AI SUPERCOMPUTER
Current bid $25,300, Closes Monday
The grand prize from the wreckage of Futureverse – a roll up of gritty digital companies that, amongst other things, was undertaking to make a metaversal home for Brook Howard-Smiths NFT BUNNIES. Apparently they spent half a million dollars on this not thaaaaaat long ago – so expect the price to go up a bit.

SMEG STAND MIXER
Current bid $170, Closes Monday
And still the debris rains down from the Kitchen Things explosion. There’s a bunch of these mixers here, so if you haven’t been able to get one in any of the last 20 Kitchen Things auctions, this could be you. 

SMEG 28CM PAN
Current bid $40, Closes Monday
A lot of people talk a lot of shit about non-stick pans but personally I would happily trade the good years of my life that I would be spending cleaning pans now for the stink years in my seventies that I’m losing by consuming whatever toxins are going to come off this thing.

DOG TOYS
Current bid $10, Closes next Thursday
Online pet store Everyday Pets has closed and their liquidation is packed with pet toys, grooming kits, feeding sets, travel gear, creepy ceramic animals and a bunch of other pet-related products all steeply discounted. Definitely worth looking through if you have a four-legged friend at home quietly but determinedly draining your bank account.

SERVING ROBOT
Current bid $15, Closes Tuesday
If you are unsatisfied with how impersonal the tabletop QR code ordering has made your restaurant or bar, you can really push it to new heights with this serving robot. And at $15 it will earn its keep in like, half an hour. SMALL WARNING: needs a new screen and also looks like it has seen some shit. 

INFRARED RAY SHRINK PACKAGING MACHINE
Current bid $5, Closes Tuesday
If you work in a healthy office environment with lots of friendly jokesters, then you could be king of the hill by buying this, quietly installing it in the copy room over a weekend and then anonymously shrink wrapping everyone’s phones, keys, wallets and coffee cups whenever they go to a meeting and leave them unattended on their desks.

10 CINTESI VICTORIA CHAIRS
Current bid $120, Closes Tuesday
Too many chairs for one house’s dining needs but you could go halves with someone?

FRIDAY 6TH

SOMETHIN’ ELSE
And Saturday, Aotea Square & Centre, Free
Easily the best of the council’s free shows and a great follow up to Laneway if your live entertainment itch isn’t yet properly scratched. Featuring Melbourne’s 30/70 Collective and Close Encounters alongside The Circling Sun, the Joe Kaptein Band, Flamingo Pier, Christoph El Truente & Lucky Lance, Bikes In Space and the Carnivorous Plant Society and DJs Frank Booker, Nathan Haines, Lucola, Slippa (UK), Sam Harmony and more!

LAST MIN!
Whammy, $25
Live sets from spdrtwnbby, Lijah and TAKATAPUNANI (previous winner, Cringe Rap Name of the Week). DJ sets from Kaiviti, Samara Alofa and MAN(K)ILA. 

FLAMA
Il Brutto, $10
100% Reggaeton all night. Free entry for Capricorns and Aquarians but they say bring ID to prove it which makes me think the door person has trust issues and may be a Scorpio.

SATURDAY 7TH

CINDY, SALT WATER CRIMINALS, BUB, SLITOPIA
Mercury Lane Alleyway, $30
We are sitting here, fingers crossed, that the general nicening of Mercury Lane will allow these cool little festival-like shows to continue.

GLAMOROUS SKY
Geihinkan, $15
Hitokiri, Ai Zero Klan and Mizery Crisis all playing their own versions of ‘Glamorous Sky’ plus a mix of anime soundtrack and J-rock faves. Cosplay encouraged.

MERDEKA
Whammy, $20
Hasji, DJ Twice, Kaiviti, Half Queen and Liv Ward playing to raise money for some people to come speak at the West Papua Solidarity Forum in March.

SUNDAY 8TH

RUMBLE IN THE SQUARE
Aotea Square, Free
A Royal Rumble-style event with 20 local wrestlers with one entering the ring every 90 seconds and whoever is there at the end is the winner. The format is lifted straight from the WWF but with the massive advantage for the people coming in later it really does feel like it could have been originally devised by the ICC. Either way, if you are curious about the local wrestling scene at all this seems a great way to sneak a peek.

TUESDAY 10TH

FIONA CONNOR
Coastal Signs, Free
The opening of Blanket Games, a new show from the great Fiona Connor on the subject of wire fences. Runs until March 14.

WEDNESDAY 11TH

POD SAVE AMERICA
Bruce Mason, From $81
Insufferable, young Obama staffers/podcasters on a We Told You So world tour.

HERO PARADE
Season, Free
Pride Festival show at season paying tribute to ‘queer role models of different kinds: atua, ancestors, trailblazers, icons, hookups, friends’. Runs until March 14.

THURSDAY 12TH

THE BEST OF BILL BRYSON
Aotea Centre, From $95
Bill Bryson is perhaps the most relaxing presence on Earth. A great night out for anxiety sufferers, as long as your anxiety doesn’t stem from being around crowds of retirees.

CRIME 101 
In Cinemas
Heist movie with Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Halle Berry (Catwoman), Mark Ruffalo (The Hulk) and Barry Keoghan (Druig from The Eternals).

WUTHERING HEIGHTS
In Cinemas
Hotly anticipated Brontë adaptation with Top Tier Australians, Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi. Directed by the amazingly named Emerald Fennell (Saltburn, Promising Young Woman)

MĀRAMA
In Cinemas
A very cool looking local horror about a young Māori woman summoned to North Yorkshire in what seems a bit like a colonial era Get Out type situation.