The Price of Freedom.

Hello,

My friend who moved to Melbourne complained to me once that none of the gallery openings there had free wine, so no one went.

Sometimes the promise of free things can be so potent: you are willing to brave an uncomfortable social situation, such as a run-in with an old acquaintance who everyone abused in the group chat during an unfortunate relationship with one of your closest pals, or an awkward side-stepping of a friend you owe a decent amount of money to. The glass of free wine would probably only cost you $16, max, at the bar on the end of the street, but the allure of a complimentary beverage naturally encourages unfortunate risk-taking behaviour. Auckland galleries know this, which is why they do it.

Free wine for the cost of milling around pretending to look at art is a pretty good deal, as far as free things go. Proper free things are hard to come by; I mostly enjoy tiny joys from what I would describe more as “complimentary” than “free”. The bowl of mints on the counter at Korean restaurants, when you go to pay, which you can use to paper over kimchi-garlic breath; the Farro samples dotted around the supermarket, particularly good near Christmas; and, of course, ALL THE THINGS you can get on your birthday.

Heart of the City is currently running a campaign offering FREE TAXI into the heart of the city (Motion Sickness again drinking at the teat of local business associations), where you’re supposed to hail down a retro-looking cab, which will then chuck you out at such mysterious and exotic locations like the High St District or Victoria Park. While it seems like it’ll possibly be a good way to bypass a $13 Uber, I’m unsure it’ll be worth the cost of edging to the side of the footpath on Ponsonby Rd and sticking your hand out sheepishly, as if you’re Carrie Bradshaw on her way to a secret rendezvous with Big. It is an embarrassing prospect. But I guess if there’s one constant truth about free things, it’s that it always comes at a cost. 

Love,
Jean

P.S. Feel like free wine tonight? Try your luck at the Richard McWhannell exhibition celebration at SEASON AOTEAROA in Grey Lynn, 6-8pm.

Events:

If you want to try a scoop of ice cream by SIDE SCOOP, it will be popping up at the POCKET MARKET this Saturday 8 November from 10am to 2pm. At the Pah Homestead. 

If you’re into Hercules Noble’s “Will It Sourdough” series, HEAD ALONG TO BOSSI to eat his Carbonara Pane Fritto sandwich, which features his “iconic” Carbonara sourdough.

Openings/Closings:

As evidenced on our Instagram (go FOLLOW US there if you’re not already!), there's a new Thai noodle spot in Sandringham called ZOOD. I haven’t been there yet, but I saw there is a Thai pork sausage on the menu, an item I love so much that I once made someone drive 25 minutes to go get one. 

Also in Sandringham, another Paradise has popped up. This time, it’s a bakery where the old lawnmower shop was. They are unstoppable.

90s High St bar DESCHLERS has been resurrected in the QBE building at 125 Queen St. Currently a cafe, liquor license pending.

A new Japanese restaurant in Westmere, next to Catroux, looks like it will be opening soon. It’s called HOCHO EATHOUSE.

Keep your eye out in the next few weeks for a new hospo spot at the GREY LYNN FIREHOUSE, opened by the Honest Spirits guys. It sort of looks like it’ll have a Hotel Ponsonby vibe, if I had to put money on it.

MIANN in Morningside has closed. Farewell!

Silver Lining:

The Parnell Baths are now open for the summer for all your central public pool needs. It costs $8.20 (or $10.20 if you want access to the spa). Also the Pirate Ship is back at Rainbows End, new and improved!

Dark Cloud:

There is an unnaturally dark vibe at bakery hotspot Mother, not owed to its selection of sandwiches and sweet buns (which were tasty enough), but the clientele, whose conversational topics seem to mostly zig-zag between the best private schools to attend and who’s bach to go to over New Years. There are lots of young parents with those tiny floaty capsule prams.

Whinge:
By Mike

Auckland is a city of many things – sails, volcanic cones, small-plate crudo – but not least, it is a city of cars. So it's no surprise that along with traffic congestion, the state of the city's parking is a staple of news items and talkback. It helps the narrative that Auckland Transport is charged with its enforcement. Everyone's a critic – those unaccountable technocrats are either doing too much or not enough as they try to make a difference. The most recent outrage/beacon of hope is the expansion of AT's fleet of surveillance hatchbacks from two cars in 2019 to a force of 25 today, endlessly circling the streets with their unblinking 360 degree cameras. Half a million unsuspecting motorists were ensnared last year, all of whom were parking there for just a few minutes. Honest! Some may find it unnerving, but the reality is, it's not just more effective but safer for AT to operate this way, as enforcement officers are frequent targets of curbside abuse. There’s something about the autonomy of the automobile that brings out the entitled awfulness within.

Cringe’s picks from the liquidation sales of Auckland’s two-speed recovery
By Simon 

RECHARGEABLE HEADLIGHT WITH MOTION SENSOR
Current bid $20, Closes Tuesday
Given the way fashion seems to be stuck in a circular loop with no signs of escape, where everything is cool and uncool at the same time, I think we should all just get up one day and agree to start dressing futuristically in silver pants and weird jackets. If you guys are all on board with that then this LED headband is going to be a central part of my new wardrobe and the great news is that there are heaps of them in this auction so we can all get one.

19 PACKS ASSORTED CONTACT LENSES
Current bid $10, Closes today
All with varying prescriptions so great to go in with a group of optically challenged friends in the hope there’ll be something for everyone here.

20 ASSORTED SEX TOYS
Current bid $70, Closes today
Everytime a mixed lot of sex toys comes up there’s always a soiled packaging disclaimer with them and it is extremely offputting.

LOST BOX SETS, SEASONS 1-4
Current bid $10, Closes today 
One of the great mystery shows, and doesn’t include the bad seasons. Perfect.

28 LITRES OF NON DAIRY MILK
Current bid $70, Closes today
This stuff doesn’t start going off till June next year so plenty of time to get through it all.

AMAC WOOD THICKNESSER
Current bid $454, Closes Tuesday
Wood Thicknesser lol.

What’s on this week
By Simon 

FRIDAY 7TH

JAPANESE FILM FESTIVAL
Till November 9, Academy, Free
The Japanese consulate is continuing their benevolent free movies programme, moving them into the Academy for a free mini-festival. At time of writing, only Masked Ward on Friday and AI Amok on Saturday night still have tickets available so move fast if you want in.

PLURIBUS
Apple TV
New series from Vince Gilligan (Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul) starring Rhea Seehorn as the most bummed out person on earth trying to make everyone else less happy. Meant to be great!

SATURDAY 8TH

AUCKLAND CLOTHES SWAP
Wilsons Carpark Mercury Lane, $15
Bring 10 items of non-crap clothing and leave with 10 items of someone else’s. Drop off your clothes by 12:40 for sorting before the fight for the best stuff starts at 1. Free Picky juice! Note: No busted stuff, jewellery, shoes, bags or accessories.

POP TO PRESENT
Till March 15, Auckland Art Gallery, $29.50
Another touring US gallery show, this one picking up where the recent Post-Impressionist show left off, with 52 touring works that, from the listing of artists, seems to be more abstract-expressionist than the title of the show would have you believe.

POINT CHEVALIER LIBRARY REOPENING
Point Chevalier Library, Free
This library has been closed for three years due to a leaky roof and after many lengthy delays it’s taken us this long to replace it with what looks like a set of prefabs that any self respecting primary school could have had in place over a summer holiday. Once again, we should all be asking ourselves why we are so lousy at this stuff.

PLUTO PIPELINE UNDER THE OCEAN 20TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW
Double Whammy, $50
First great chance of the week to feel old at this 20th anniversary show for one of the best local albums of the early 2000s. Support from Arahi.

MONDAY 10TH

THE NATIONAL GRID #9 LAUNCH PARTY
Objectspace, Free
The official new issue launch of “Aotearoa’s iconic graphic design periodical”. If you don’t mind spending time with graphic designers, there will be free drinks and snacks at this. 

TUESDAY 11TH

CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH
Tuning Fork, $70
Another 20th anniversary show and the second great chance to feel old this week. I’ve been thinking a lot this week about how 20-year-old music (and everything else really) from here (see Pluto, above) feels older than 20 year old music from elsewhere (this) and I feel like it’s got a lot to do with aesthetic, the way we held onto the 90s with such a tight grip for so long. Any thoughts on this welcome at [email protected] 

NO FUN AT ALL
Double Whammy, $75
Swedish punks! With support from Two Skinner (this week’s Cringe Band Name of the Week) and Green Fever.

THURSDAY 13TH

ALL STAR, JIMMY MA’IA’I
Till November 30, Grace Aotearoa, Free
Playful, found object installation artist on the come up. Quick Fact: Ma’ia’i is the son of Mighty Boy C from 3 The Hard Way!

DILJIT DOSANJH
Spark Arena, From $199
The world’s coolest living Sikh. Peaked at number 9 on the Times of India’s most desirable man list in 2016, and number 1 on the Chandrigarh Times’ most desirable man list in 2019. Cringe’s pick for concert of the week.

TOITŪ VISUAL SOVEREIGNTY
In Cinemas
Chelsea Winstanley’s excellent documentary about Nigel Borrell and the staging of the Toi Tū Toi Ora show at the Auckland Art Gallery has found its way back to cinemas and is well worth watching if you missed it at the festival. Fair to say ex-gallery director Kristen Lacy doesn’t come out of it looking that flash.

NOW YOU SEE ME: NOW YOU DON’T
In Cinemas
The Now You See Me series are perfect in-flight movies and I, for one, am thrilled there’s another entry here to refresh the pool.